I Killed

I Killed

Hello everyone, Thanks for stopping by, My site is under going some renovations. After two days of Co hosting the Bob & Tom show, as Tom was out with a shoulder injury. I was Happy to help out. I love those guys, and I love doing the show. I am on my way to Nashville to do a one-nighter at Zanies Comedy Club. Come on out and see my show. Anyway here is something for your reading pleasure. This story originally appeared on my website but made it into “I killed,” true stories of the road from America’s top Comedians People always want me to tell this story it is much funnier when I tell it in Person.

Motorcycles & Mayhem

The year was 1987, I had recently moved to Los Angeles the previous year. I was working on becoming a paid regular at the comedy store, but until that happened I opted for a job as a doorman. It was not a bad place to pass the time as I worked on my craft. It was just before the huge comedy explosion of the eighties and the Comedy Store was a hot bed of activity. I was starting over, basically, and I spent most of my free time there hanging and making new friends. Watching and learning from the likes of Jim Carrey, Damon Wayans, and of course Sam Kinison. I knew them, but it was just casually… that was about to change. Monday night at the Comedy Store was a freak show, a real carnival of souls that all seemed lost. The Original room was packed, the Belly Room was filled with people and in the main room they were at capacity. The place had an energy about it. It was alive and buzzing. The stand up comedians went on to a very hungry comedy audience. The crowd stayed, basically to see the last act of the night which was Sam Kinison, he had a cult following of porn stars, celebrities and was not even close to being famous yet.

I showed up at the Comedy Store late. Sam was already on stage and had been on for a while, I showed up on my motorcycle and wheeled it into the backstage area, behind the curtain and I was sitting on it smoking a cigarette, talking with two other comedians. The manager was running around backstage screaming and yelling (he was from Thailand), “he get off now!” “It getting too rate!” He was oblivious to the fact that a comedy genius was working his trade. One of the other comedians looked at me on my motorcycle and said, “Why don’t you ride out there and tell them it’s last call” and then he said, “you know it’s never been done before!” That was all he needed to say to a young comedian eager to prove himself. Then the other comedian said, ” Just drive out, say it’s last call, and tell Sam, ‘by the way your rides here’.” I started my bike and gunned the engine several times as I worked up the nerve, “Was I really going to do this!” I said to myself.

They pulled the curtain back and down three little steps I went skidding to and abrupt stop at the edge of the stage I had a long trench coat on and mirrored sunglasses, I looked at the audience and said, “It’s last call and then I turned to Sam and said, “By the way your rides here!” Now, I did not know this at the time but Sam was deftly afraid of motorcycles. But, we were in front of an audience that was going nuts and I have to give him credit he didn’t even bat an eye. He said in his signature scream, “LET’S DO IT!! AAAURGHHHH! AAAAAAUUUURGGH!” And he mounted the motorcycle. I turned the bike and gunned the engine… popped it into first gear… and hit those three steps and just had enough juice to climb them and we were through the curtain. I could have stopped there but I dropped it into second gear and I keep on going through the doorway and down the hallway that had three dressing rooms on my right side and screaming comedians diving for cover. I was yelling, “Get out of the way!” I never saw so many middle acts move that fast. Sam had a death grip on my ribcage as we barreled out the back door and onto Sunset Blvd. off the curb and onto the street and still I kept going West on Sunset to La Cienga, and as I made my U-turn, Sam finally loosened his grip and screamed above the loud engine, “You’re a crazy motherfucker!” As we drove down Sunset past the Comedy Store about twenty people had come running out to see where we went, and as we drove by, they applauded and waved. I pulled over and Sam got off the bike and gave me a look like he was sizing me up. I said, “goodnight” and drove off towards home.

I didn’t see Sam for about two weeks until I showed up at the Comedy Store on a Monday night, walked into the back bar and someone Yelled, “Jimmy Shubert, You crazy mother fucker! Get over here!” it was Sam. He wa s standing with Randy Quaid, and Loraine Neuman from Saturday Night Live. He introduced me and told them the story of how I drove him offstage on my motorcycle. I didn’t realize how cool it was until I heard him tell the story. I had made a new friend! I have never met anyone like Sam Kinison before or since. He was a true American original and a crazy mother fucker himself.